Live Your Dream!

People make it sound so easy to “live your dream”. 

I want to believe it is easy. Or at least simple. 

But the thing about living your dream is there is no right or wrong way to pursue it or do it. 

There will always be a list of reasons to do it. And not to do it. 

I have a pros and cons list running through my head at all times. 

But before I get too much further down this rabbit hole, let me explain.

I want to move to California.

I have spent at least a long weekend in California every year of my life since I was in my mommy’s tummy. I can’t count the amount of trips to Disneyland I’ve taken or how many times I’ve been to the beach. I couldn’t tell you how many seashells I’ve collected or the times I’ve fallen asleep on my aunt’s couch. 

In September of 2007 I moved to California after getting laid off from my job. I was out of high school, not in college, and found myself unemployed living with my parents and their toxic marriage. I decided it was time for a change. 

I moved in with my aunt and uncle into their doorless den. They have an adorably tiny home, probably not even 1000 square feet, with two bedrooms and the aforementioned den. The extra bedroom once belonged to my cousin who was, at that time, living in New Orleans. I felt a bit odd taking over her space so I opted for the office as my new living quarters. The issue of the door was remedied by some black out curtains my uncle hung for me. 

They provided me with love, generosity, and room to grow emotionally and mentally. They encouraged me to go to school, even if just taking one class: French. Not necessarily the most useful class but something I’d always wanted to learn. I was hired at a family friend’s HOA management business as a receptionist. I met new people, made new friends, joined a bible study. Regularly attended church. 

Things were good.

I move back in with my parents in March of 2008. I had visited home a couple of times and my homesickness took over. My parents marriage was as terrible as ever and my dad was going through major depression. I have always been the type of person who feels fully responsible for the happiness of those I care about. My dad and I have always been mighty close. To come home and feel like my dad needed me was like a poison dart to the heart. I came back to California from visiting home and that poison kept infecting deeper and deeper into my mind. I couldn’t stop thinking about wanting to be there for my dad. To do what? I’m not sure. But I felt like if I moved back, he would be happy again.

I hurt a lot of people when I moved back. I think the worst part for my aunt and uncle was seeing how healthy and happy I was living with them and how miserable I was going to be living back with my parents. 

There was a lot of regret and bitterness surrounding that time of my life. I’m glad it’s over. But I learned a lot from it.

Back to my dream.

I didn’t move back because I didn’t love living in California. Are you kidding? The beach, the weather, the greenery, the endless list of fun things to do. Yes, it is expensive. Yes, they have wacky laws, and yes, the traffic is horrendous. But all of that is worth it to have everything else it has to offer!

I want to move back now more than ever. My husband and I visit several times a year and every time, I dread coming back like the plague. Driving back home is like driving into work on a Monday morning. Nobody enjoys doing it but it has to be done. Like ripping off a bandaid.

My aunt, uncle, cousins, and their families all still live in CA. 

My cousins own a coffee shop in Ventura County and they recently posted on social media that they were hiring. My heart leapt. I have barista experience! I became very excited for a prospect that was probably very unrealistic but thrilling to think about nonetheless. I begged my husband to pack up our things so we could move immediately.

Then reality sinks in and I’m brought down from the clouds. 

We have a year-long lease we just recently signed at our apartment. We each have steady jobs. Our parents and siblings and grandparents all live here. We don’t have kids but we want them sooner than later.

What if we have kids in California and we don’t have our family to help us out? What if an emergency happens and we’re too far away from anyone we know? What if we don’t find good paying jobs right away? 

What if?

Let’s stop and think about any idea you’ve ever had for a change in your life. You can choose to think of all the positive and exciting things that come with that change or you can choose to think of all the negative that could happen. You have a pretty equal chance of both good and bad. So, it’s your choice which one you want to focus on.

Focus on the positive!

I know it sounds cliche. Does cliche have to be a negative thing? Again, that is a choice! If you go through life choosing to see the negative in everything then your life is going be full of negativity! What a concept! But if you choose to hope for the best, to see the silver lining, to focus on the pros instead of the cons, your life will feel much lighter. Much brighter!

I want to move to California because I love the beach. I love the mix of cultures. I love the food. The way the air smells. The theme parks. The nature. The drastic changes in scenery just going north on the PCH. I love the architecture. The Spanish influence. The mid century modern style. The brick buildings on main street in the small towns. 

Is it going to be difficult to find a job? Probably. Could I find one right away? Possibly. Would it be difficult to have kids in another state apart from our parents? Yes. Is it impossible to do? No! 

My favorite part of my marriage is whenever things get tough or the future feels uncertain, we always say to each other, “We will figure it out. We always do!” And it has been true every time we’ve said it. We have been through a lot together in our young marriage. And every time something scary happens we have gotten through it. We have been through tough financial times and we always figure it out. When you are faced with trials, you either figure it out or you give up and we always choose NOT to give up.

So, should we pursue our dream of moving to California or should we sit and think of all the reasons we shouldn’t? What is the worst that can happen? We move, we can’t find jobs, we move back. That’s it! I mean, we could die in a horrible earthquake too but I choose not to dwell on SyFy original movie plots too much.

Go live your dream. Take that chance. Quit your job. Don’t live your life according to what some overlords decided was the “responsible” way to live!

Do whatever makes you happy. At the end of the day, that’s the most important decision you can make.